I'm Sorry and Goodbye
by RanTW1718
Summary: 'I always believed that I could win against them. That I could bring an end to their deeds as a detective. But now I see the truth. And I have to accept it.' The crows have closed in, and to protect the ones he love Shinichi as Conan will go to great lengths to do so. But the one 'correct' choice he will make will rob him of everything he has...


_My first one-shot! It's a sad one, and with a major character death. This came from a dream, and I shaped it into a story^^ Jodie is randomly in there because of my dream, so yeah. In my dream Conan actually does what he does in the story, and it was a really powerful moment so I tried to make it...powerful! So I hope you like it^^_

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It was all too sudden. There were no news about them for a month, and then like flies attracted to the food laid out on a dinner table, they swarmed here with the ferociousness of bees. The Porsche 356A prowled on the streets, and they seemed to be everywhere. It might just be my paranoia, but I felt like this time I wouldn't be the one tracking them. They would be tracking down me.

"It's them…!" Jodie Starling breathed out, as we hid behind the walls of the storage area. It was damp and musty with dust, dirty and unclean with insects crawling through cracks in the wall. There was a large metal structure in the storage house and a couple of cardboard boxes. We pressed ourselves into the yellowed concrete, hoping to blend in and become one with it. Something about their appearance this time is unsettling.

The black car drove down the road, quiet and unvisited. It travelled at a normal speed, but when it neared the storage house it slowed down, and I could almost see the murderous glint in Gin's eyes. A heavy hammer of fear pounded down on me, and my nails dug into my palm as I clenched my fists. It was like they knew I was in here. Like they knew everything. They eventually continued but I dare not move until I was sure they were long gone.

Jodie informed the other FBI members about their presence, but somehow I felt that it was unnecessary. No matter how much we prepare this time, it's not going to work.

We cleared out cautiously, and Jodie told me to contact her if anything happens. And I nod, as though I understood the need. I suspected that by the time they strike, I won't be able to do anything. We would be dead. We departed, and I walked home with Dread as my loyal follower.

"Ah, Conan-kun!" I walked in the detective agency to hear Ran's scolding voice. I stared at her, feeling that she was getting farther away from me. Or maybe it was me that was receding. "You shouldn't go out that long! Otou-san couldn't wait anymore so we started dinner without you."

"Ah…sorry…" I said, still staring. She noticed my strange behavior and her scolding face melted into a curious and concerned expression.

"Conan-kun, are you okay? You seem kind of odd." She said, tugging at her apron. She had bought a new one recently, thinking that the old one was an antique. It had a little chick design on it wearing a chef's hat and a spatula in its right wing.

"Yeah, don't worry." I gave her a bright, child-like smile with shining eyes and it seemed to convince her enough. But as soon as she turned her back my face reverted back to a concerned and uneasy one. What is this feeling? It's frustrating and annoying and tiring to feel this way.

We ate dinner and everything seemed normal. At least Occhan and Ran were. I couldn't settle down no matter what, and every time Ran or Occhan asked what was wrong I just put on my mask and replied easily that I was okay or nothing's wrong. Maybe my mind is screwed up today. Maybe it'll get better after a good night's sleep.

I found out that that's not going to happen.

Soon after we finished dinner, there was a loud explosion outside and the lights went out. I could see smoke drifting outside like revengeful spirits and people stirring nearby.

"I wonder what's wrong?" Ran asked. She pulled back the curtains and looked out.

"Maybe something got tangled in the wires and the electricity got messed up." Occhan replied, muttering about Okino Yoko. But it turned out that that was not the case. The next explosion happened soon after and it was deathly near the agency. We agreed to head out in fear that it's going to cause a collapse, but on the way out there was this nagging uneasiness nipping the edges of my mind.

Outside, there were debris on the ground and neighbors out on the streets. People gazed around in concern and we waited for help to arrive or someone to come explain the situation. Everything seemed to be calm after that, but chaos started when gunshots were heard. People started screaming and running around in the dark, tripping over things and people.

_This has to be a dream! _I screamed in my mind after gunshots persisted.

"Let's go somewhere else!" Occhan yelled. But then a telephone pole collapsed and it brought down its wires with him. It loomed over us and he cried out in surprise and pushed Ran out of the way. He then fell to the ground with the heavy pole on top of him. I could tell that he was holding back cries of pain.

"Otou-san!" Ran screamed, face a painting of horror. Occhan offered a weak smile and told her to go, claiming he would get out soon. But I was sure that that wouldn't be happening, as the pole was a few times heavier than him and he just got severe injuries.

"Now go!" My heart was stabbed at the thought of leaving Occhan behind, but I didn't have another choice. _If only I was Kudo Shinichi! I could help him then…!_ With utmost pain Ran and I ran out into the night, other people following and then starting to split up. _No_…A sudden thought occurred to me, my heart leaping in realization. _This is what the organization wants!_ But I had realized that too late, and the next moment a bullet whizzed by and striked Ran in the shoulder. A few more had also hit her in her back and calf as she tried to shield me to my horror.

"AH!" She cried out in pain and went down, collapsing onto the ground. My heart was pounding in terror and panic already, and now with her hurt it felt like it was going to burst.

"RAN!" I cried out along with her, andimmediately bent down to check on her. She had started to bleed, and the bullets had buried itself deep into Ran's body. '_If this keeps up…Ran will be killed_!' my mind screamed out. _It's all my fault! If I never left Ran behind when we went to the amusement park…._ My eyes stinged. _Then…Ran would still be safe! _

"Silver Bullet." A woman's voice comes up from behind, and I swirl around to find her standing before me. "Your time has apparently run out." There was shame and sorrow in her eyes.

"Vermouth..." I spit the name out with disgust. It didn't matter that she tried to help me before. The only thought in my mind was that she's a member of the black organization.

"I'm not the one you should hate," she said, wanting to correct my thinking. It failed. "I did nothing to reveal your identity. They found out on their own." She held out a gun, and tossed it to me. It clanked onto the ground metallically even though the ground I crouched on is dirt and earth. "I can save Angel." She said, looking at Ran. "But they will not let you go."

"So, you want me to kill myself?" I wretched out. I stared at the cold weapon on the ground. It was something that held a lot of power. It was fascinatingly horrible how it could destroy human life as easy as squishing a bug.

"I made a deal with them." Vermouth says. "If you die, then they will not kill your friends and family. Of course, memory washing drugs will be given to them. I can't believe they agreed. Must be because of the new memory washing drug so they're giving in."

"Then why don't you just wash my memory too?" I asked, still staring at the gun. I was the only one that had to die. It seemed like such a good deal but also such a horrible one.

"Because they want to see you die." She whispered forlornly. It was something so simple but so horrifying to think about. "You, whose destiny and life they changed, to die because of them. You represent the rebels out there, the dangers out there. They want to see you die, to symbolize that from now on there will be no more leaking of information."

It was a reasonable thought, but it made me go cold. No more leaking of information means that they'll continue with no interferences or dangers. They'll continue killing people and doing their deeds. And nobody would know.

"The other option," she started. "Is for me or for them themselves to kill you, which I assure you will involve horrendous torturing first…" She stares down at me. "Will you kill yourself? Or will you die by our hands? It's what Anokata has decided. I did my best to avoid other fatalities except for you, which he wouldn't budge." I was gritting my teeth when I heard stirring behind me. I had forgotten about Ran, who apparently went unconscious, and who now just woke up a little. It seemed she didn't heard any of what we just talked about.

"Conan-kun…" she whispered as I bent down to the ground and picked up the gun. "What…is…that…." Now that she was awake, it was harder to think of what I'm about to do. In the distance, I hear the unique roaring of a car. Gin and Vodka.

"Ran." I smile, leaving out the nee-chan. I imagine that it was a gentle smile, soft and gentle. But that there was a sea of sorrow in its meaning, a sad knowledge. "Say sorry to the neighbors and Occhan alright?" The tone of my words were meant to be comforting and soothing. It was a tone unfit to what was about to happen.

"What…are you…going…to do…" she whispered again, voice full of concern and anxiety. I suspected that she knew I was going to do something.

"Ran…" I crouched down and leaned in, just breathing near her and then pressing my lips against hers. It was a kiss that told a story of goodbye and of truth. For a moment, I put aside everything that happened since the day I shrunk and kissed her just because of the fact that I loved her. And I believe she understood. Understood that I wasn't a seven-year-old-child called Edogawa Conan. I was someone much different, I was Kudo Shinichi, high school detective, and I loved her for everything she is. And that I was saying goodbye in the last seconds of our kiss.

I stood back up, and saw that she was crying, tearing sliding down her cheeks, while whispering my name. My real name. And I fought back the urge to do the same, but a tear still dipped down onto my clothes. My child clothes that I often loathed because it said that I physically was a child. I wiped it away quickly with my sleeve, and faced the car that was coming. I looked determinedly at them, especially at Gin, as they stopped the care and stepped out. Gin had a smirk on his face that told me he was looking forward to my performance, and he stared me in the eye like a murderer to his victim before the kill.

"Kudo Shinichi." His voice was low and distinct, and it sent an electrocuting wave of fear down my spine. "Let me see you die." He grinned, showing teeth. Vodka was smirking beside him as well. I stood my ground as determinedly as I could, and I placed the gun against my head. It was cold and freezing and I knew a bullet awaited me in it.

"Shinichi…" Ran cried, her voice breaking and her eyes overflowing with tears. "Shinichi…Shinichi…" I looked back at her, and I smiled sorrowfully.

"Ran…" My voice was soft and even, firm and loving. "I love you…." I took a death breath. "I'm sorry…And goodbye." I turned my head back to face Gin, and with my eyes open and staring into his, I pulled the trigger.

XXX

_I actually had tears in my eyes while writing the end of this T T I'm such an emotional person... I hope you liked this I'm actually really satisfied with this so I really hope you like it too! Thanks for reading!_

_To those who read my other stories I know I'm being a bit slow but school started and the first few chapters of my stories were already typed out so I could just copy and past upload and done but now I'm actually writing it out now so it takes longer sorry _


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